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A Message of Hope

While your grief will never fully fade, God promises the pain you feel now is not the end of the story.

 

 

A Message of Hope: Testimonies from Mothers Who Miscarried

Nothing is worse for a mother than the pain of losing a child. If you’ve experienced a miscarriage, you know this is true even though you were never given the opportunity to get to know the precious life inside you. Yet, while your grief will never fully fade, God promises the pain you feel now is not the end of the story. He says in I Corinthians 13:12 that you see His plan only as a poor reflection in a mirror, but one day you will understand fully. And even without all the answers, God invites you to live in the hope of His love and faithfulness to you.

Following are testimonies from two women who have experienced miscarriages and have learned to rest in this hope clearly seen in I Thessalonians 4:16-18, which says that one day “the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words” (New International Version).

“We named our baby Joy…”

Wendy and Erik were excitedly expecting their first child. Then, just seven weeks into the pregnancy, Wendy miscarried. The couple relied on their long-standing faith in God to help them through the loss:

I knew what was happening. I experienced heavy blood flow for a week, but held out hope until the doctor said we had definitely lost the baby. It wasn’t real until then. I cried a lot that day. Erik was quiet. He comforted me by saying, “Well, we’ll just keep trying.” But I was so sad and disappointed. I’ve been a committed Christian since I was 10 years old, and I knew God was in control, but I still couldn’t understand why this child died.

I felt uncomfortable because I was completely out of control of the situation. The doctor said the baby had probably died of a defective sperm or egg weeks before we knew something was wrong, which meant there was nothing I could have done to save my child. Only God could have done something, and He didn’t. This made me a little mad. But I had to remember that death is a consequence of sin. The evil, sad, hurtful things of this world happen because the sin of mankind opened a door. God wasn’t punishing us for anything we did—we were just seeing the effects of sin, and the heartbreak God goes through every day as those effects hit his children.

We don’t have a grave to remember our child by, but we did receive flowers from people, which helped validate our loss. I took pictures of the flowers and kept the precious cards people sent, and these things substantiate our experience, giving us something to look back on and remember. We also decided to name our child, so that down the road we wouldn’t just say, “the baby.” We named her as a girl, Joy. Erik said naming the baby is what finally made her life a reality for him.

Now I’m pregnant again, and am about 3 1/2 months along. But I have a new perspective on this baby. God has taught me a very important lesson: our children never really do belong to us. The child we lost was His. He creates and forms our children. He is forming this child inside of me, and my job is to help shape and mold this person to hunger and thirst after God. That’s it. That’s my main job.

I know that through grief and sorrow, God turns bad into good. He turns sorrow into joy if we let Him. My whole goal in life is to hear His voice and to know Him. This experience has drawn me closer to Him. I’ve felt His comforting presence, and know He’s there even when I sometimes don’t feel him. I could have chosen to be mad and not listen to the Lord, but He is bigger than this loss. My ultimate trust in God—knowing He is truly in control—gives me comfort. And now I have a child waiting for me in heaven. I can’t wait to meet her!

A Message of Hope - Page 2

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